A Letter To The Anxious

Dear Anxious,

On July 16, 2018, in the middle of an ordinary day, I thought I was having a heart attack. Out of nowhere came chest tightness, blurry vision, and arm numbness. It convinced me I was going to die. I went straight to the hospital, and after several tests, I was treated for a panic attack. I went to my doctor a couple of days later, and she told me I was perfectly physically healthy. I was so confused. Nothing had changed in my life - no new stress or situation was consuming me. It took me months to pinpoint what happened.

After your first panic attack or dark season, you may have googled, "Bible verses about anxiety." I did, and the out of context, mish-mash of verses wasn’t very helpful. We need a complete picture, not cherry picked verses. Thankfully, Jesus has quite a bit to say about anxiety and the darkness of depression. His book is filled with songs that describe the darkest parts of the human soul. Read this from Psalm 88:

You have put me in the lowest pit,
in the darkest depths.
Your wrath lies heavily on me;
you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.
You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
my eyes are dim with grief.

From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;
I have borne your terrors and am in despair.
Your wrath has swept over me;
your terrors have destroyed me.
All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
darkness is my closest friend.

That's it. The Psalm ends. Darkness is my closest friend. 

Solomon said, “I hated life” (Eccles. 2:17) Job, Jeremiah, and others expressed that they wanted to die. 

The Bible does not sugar coat anxiety and depression. The Bible does not sugar coat anything. That's one of the reasons it's so precious to us - for only the Bible divides the soul from spirit andjudges the thoughts and intentions of the heart (Hebrews 4:12). 

The famous English preacher, Charles Spurgeon, fought with depression his entire life. Here are his thoughts on Psalm 88, that I quoted from earlier:

The mind can descend far lower than the body. For [the mind] there are bottomless pits. The flesh can bear only a certain number of wounds and no more, but the soul can bleed in ten thousand ways, and die over and over again each hour.

How low the spirits of good and brave men will sometimes sink. Under the influence of certain disorders everything will wear a somber aspect, and the heart will dive into the profoundest deeps of misery. It is all very well for those who are in robust health and full of spirits to blame those whose lives are sicklied over with the pale cast of melancholy, but the evil is as real as a gaping wound, and all the more hard to bear because it lies so much in the region of the soul that to the inexperienced it appears to be a mere matter of fancy and diseased imagination. Reader, never ridicule the [depressed]; their pain is real. Though much of the evil lies in the imagination, it is not imaginary.

This is the first thing the Bible gives us - affirmation that our sufferings are not imaginary. At this fork in the road, we have two options: Jesus or the worship of self. 

I want to present a stark contrast between what Scripture says about anxiety, and what culture says about "self-care." I dislike using the term “self-care” because it is so culturally loaded. Caring for yourself and knowing your limits and needs is not anti-biblical. God has commanded us to rest (Ex. 34:21; Heb. 4:3-4), care for our physical bodies (1 Cor. 6:19-20), and during His earthly ministry Jesus obeyed these commands (Mark 6:31). But without Gospel truth and reliance on God, these life principles turn into the worship of comfort. 

Take a look at this image:

The worship of Self, and idolizing comfort is dangerous because it's a new set of laws. You do not need a new list of demands put on you. You need to know and rest in the arms of the one who fulfilled the law for you. There is freedom in obedience, not idolizing comfort. The Gospel (Good news) teaches that you cannot set yourself free from the chains of sin and death. You are a helpless prisoner to your own passions and wickedness. When you do good (apart from new birth), you have sinful motives. When you break one law, you transgress the whole thing. Simply put, apart from Jesus, we are guilty of cosmic treason and the punishment is hell. 

Jesus can set you free from this punishment. Not only that, but once you trust in Jesus alone, the Father adopts you into His eternal family. Because of Jesus, you can go from an enemy of God to a beloved son or daughter. These are not simply words spoken long ago by a religious leader, Jesusinvites you into His rest right now:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light(Matthew 11:28–30).

Words of Warning

You need to take care of yourself. I am not encouraging you to fill your life with people who run you over, saying you never need time alone, or you should be content with being unproductive and lazy. "Self-care," as our culture understands it, is not a call to take care of the bodies and lives the Lord has given us. We should all do that and ask the Spirit to encourage us in it. Exercise CAN help with the physical effects of anxiety and depression. Eating well DOES positively affect your brain chemistry. Good sleep habits DO help you think clearer in your battle against anxiety and depression. I do not want to throw out the baby with the bathwater. Some great techniques and therapies have been developed recently to aid anxiety sufferers. I will list some that have helped me later.

I will also try to avoid using loaded cultural terms as much as possible. Example: the term "toxic people" is another phrase to describe sinners. Your life will be full of them to varying degrees. More importantly, remember you are one as well. You need boundaries to protect yourself and your family from extra manipulative/destructive sinners. Christian counseling has been a sweet grace from God to my family and me. Consider sharing your struggles with your doctor as well. There is nothing un-Christian about medication. No one would consider an individual on high blood pressure medication as someone “lacking faith.” Find a good doctor who will cooperate with your Christian counselor and your beliefs. Like all things, there are good and bad medications. Let’s leave that discussion to those qualified - your counselor and doctor. 

I am not a licensed counselor, though I have hundreds of hours of experience counseling God’s people as a pastor. Don’t read this as an exhaustive work - this is meant to be a pastoral walk through the Word, showing you what God has to say about anxiety and His care for you. If I knew you personally, this is what we’d walk through in an afternoon together. 

The Idol of Comfort and Worship of Self Makes Things Worse

"DEMAND WHAT YOU DESERVE"

"EMBRACE YOUR FLAWS"

"EXERCISE MORE"

"FOLLOW YOUR OWN PATH"

"SET BOUNDARIES"

"CLEAN YOURSELF UP"

"TREAT YOURSELF"

Self-care culture is not godly wisdom. At best, it is a marketing technique that taps into your selfishness. At worst, it is a new set of laws to enslave your soul. 

These mantras present a whole bunch of ways for you to feel like a failure. Do you see the number of times "you" is front and center? While this may seem like a no-nonsense approach to life, you can no more empower yourself to be happy than you can empower yourself to be rid of anxiety. You know nothing is that simple. It took all of 0 seconds for marketers to realize that #selfcare sells stuff. From candles to at-home spa junk, every brand has realized the power of slapping #selfcare or #treatyoself onto their items. 

These mantras ring hollow, because they have no meaning. One popular blogger tells you, "eating indulgently can help your mental state," while another says, "eating well balances you out." Which is it? Everything is self-care now - staying in or going out with friends, working out or resting, lots of makeup or throwing your makeup away. Opportunity after opportunity to fail. When you indulge, you feel fat. When you work out, you wonder why the results aren’t coming fast enough. These sayings represent a never-ending cycle of failure. They are a burden no one should be carrying. 

If modern self-care had a tag line, I think it would be this; I'll be happy once the universe is ordered around me. There are two problems with that statement. One, you will never be able to truly order your life around yourself unless you are okay being by yourself. Two, and most importantly, you cannot make yourself happy. There is not a hidden corner of your soul containing joy that is waiting to be found. You can distract yourself, yes. The majority of self-care items for sale are distractions. The majority of self-care advice is distractionary. My heart breaks for the millions of broken people distracting themselves to death. There are 16.8 million posts on Instagram using #selfcare. Do you think they will eventually distract themselves into joy? Let’s heed Paul’s warning, “She who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives” (1 Tim. 5:6). Eternal joy is available to you. Don't settle for gazing at nature to help your anxiety. Meet it's Maker. The answer to your anxiety is not found within you.

Where Your Value Comes From

You are precious. Your life is of infinite value. Why? Because you were created in the image of God. This is where your value comes from. Your value is not tied to what you do, how productive you are, what you look like, or your family lineage. Your value is not tied to how often you work out or how free you feel while eating cake. The most beautiful and holy being in the universe made you. No one can take this value away from you. No situation can diminish this value. A common treatment for clinical anxiety is changing your inner dialogue. You might be far too hard on yourself. Changing your inner dialogue and perception of yourself can be a great tool. We often forget who we are. If you are a Christian, it is tragic when you forget whose you are. Christian, you belong to Jesus. He purchased you with His precious blood. When you put your trust in Him, you received His righteousness. This is what the Father sees when He looks at you - a beloved son or daughter. I need to remind myself of this daily. This is reality. My emotions in my fallen body are at war often with the truth. The Spirit of God must change our feelings to align with this glorious reality. My shame and my fear are unnecessary. Jesus has given me an abundant life here on earth. Cry out to the Lord, Jesus help my unbelief. 

Realizing who your value is anchored to is step one in getting some relief in this life. Total deliverance from anxiety and depression is possible, but not promised in this fallen world. I can tell you from my own experience though; days, weeks, and months of relief is a gift from Jesus. Remind yourself daily that you belong to Him. 

You Need a Friend

Let's do some theology. The second person of the Trinity, Jesus, has existed eternally. All things were made by Him and through Him and for Him (John 1). About two thousand years ago, He took on flesh, and came to live among us. This moment is called the incarnation of Christ.

The incarnation of Jesus is the most profound and beautiful fact I've ever encountered. It gives me deep, abiding hope. The one who knows me best (God) is the one who came after me. Let that wash over your soul. Instead of believing that you need to wash your own face, let Jesus wipe away your tears. You need a friend, and there is no better friend than Jesus. This is the dividing chasm between Christianity and every other religion. No other faith, religion, or worldview has a suffering savior. Consider some of your darkest moments - betrayal from a friend or family member, the mockery of a crowd, being deeply misunderstood, physical abuse, shame, or false accusations. Jesus experienced every one of these things first hand. When Christians say, Jesus knows you, that is not some kind of deity in the sky comment. Jesus knows you because He walked in your shoes. 

In times of despairing anxiety, remember this verse,

Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.”(Matthew 26:38)

Jesus experienced terror that caused Him to sweat blood (Luke 22:44). We cannot imagine the weight of sin and shame that the Father poured onto the Son during His crucifixion. He bore that burden for His people. He understands your pain.

He was tempted by sin as well.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.(Hebrews 4:15)

Where you and I have failed, Jesus did not. He understands your darkness, and He defeated it. 

Jesus is the greatest friend you can have, because He is the only one who will never let you down. He is the One who understands you the deepest as well. Jesus made you, and Jesus suffered like you do. Go to Him in your despair. He wants you to lay your burdens at His feet. 

You need Jesus, and His people. 

You Need the Church

The church is not God's plan B for the world. Gathering His people to display His glory to the nations has always been plan A. Jesus brings about much of our sanctification (growing in holiness / being more like Jesus) corporately. He uses others as instruments to bless us and respond to our deep needs. In the church, we find the best way to express our spiritual gifts. Missing out on these things is missing out on much of the Christian life. There simply is no example of a lone ranger Christian in the New Testament. You need other Christians. You need to be reminded that God is working in you to bless others as well. God is not done with you. He uses you to call others to repentance, share the Gospel, encourage your brothers and sisters in Christ, and expand His Kingdom. We tend to forget these truths when we are separated from the body of Christ.

Paul Tripp says in his book, Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy, "We weren't created to be independent, autonomous, or self-sufficient. We were made to live in a humble, worshipful, and loving dependency upon God and in a loving and humble interdependency with others. Our lives were designed to be community projects. Yet, the foolishness of sin tells us that we have all that we need within ourselves. So we settle for relationships that never go beneath the casual. We defend ourselves when the people around us point out a weakness or a wrong. We hold our struggles within, not taking advantage of the resources God has given us." (p. 147)

Please unburden your heart to those God has placed around you. Fight for gospel-centered, deep relationships in your church. Put yourself in situations where the Spirit can remind you of His gifts to you and the body of Christ! Getting close to other sinners can always cause pain, but it is worth it. The body of Christ needs you, and you Her (1 Corinthians 12:27).

Am I Saved?

Do you have assurance of your salvation? Many believers struggle with this. Not knowing if you are saved from God's judgment causes deep anxiety. I still have moments of doubt, but Jesus has overcome my fears. How? I learned that those who seek the Lord, find Him.

If you seek him, he will be found by you (1 Chronicles 28:9)

Consider this, and don't skip over that verse. If you are genuinely seeking the Lord, you will find Him. This is a promise! Jesus is not going to abandon you. Like all aspects of the Christian life, your faith will deepen over time. Do not despair when your belief wanes. 

It is not the strength of your faith that saves you, but the strength of Him upon whom you rely. - Spurgeon

What if you have evidence of conversion in your life (changed desires, growing holiness, etc.), but still struggle with the authenticity of your faith? When you hear Matthew 7:23, And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’, are you afraid Christ might be talking about you?

Consider this story from Paul Washer:

A young man struggles with his salvation. After frequent and prolonged counseling with several pastors, he found little reason to hope. The slanderer (Satan) has beaten him down and magnified his sins to such a degree that he can see little evidence of grace.

One day, he pours out his heart to a visiting evangelist. After listening for nearly an hour, the evangelist concludes the young man has received good counsel on the matter but with no progress.

Therefore, he looks him in the eye and says, “Christ and His gospel appear to have done little for you except throw you down into a pit of despair and misery. My recommendation is that you simply forget the whole matter and walk away. Abandon Christ. Throw yourself headlong into sin. At least, by giving full reign into your flesh you’ll have joy for a season. And maybe you’ll become so hardened that you’ll forget about the judgment.”

The young man is shocked at the evangelist’s answer and replies, “I can’t do that!”

“Why not? You have no hope of salvation, and your past struggling against sin has brought you no relief. Why shouldn’t you just run from Christ?”

To this the young man cries out, “I cannot run from Christ because salvation is found in Him alone. Though my sin overcomes me a thousand times, I shall not run to it because I hate it. I will not turn from God because I fear Him.”

At that moment, the evangelist looks in the young man’s eyes and quotes Jeremiah 32:40, “And I will make an everlasting covenant with them that I will not turn away from doing them good, but I will put my fear in their hearts so that they will not depart from me.”

At that moment, the young man’s face flushes with astonishment and he declares, “How could I love him unless he first loved me? How can I hate sin unless He renewed my heart? And how could I fear Him unless He has put His fear within me?”

And the young man walks away with great assurance and joy in the Holy Spirit.

Faith is not the absence of doubt. Faith is knowing that Jesus has the answers. If you truly believe that He is good and in control, then there is always a reason for the things that come our way. Romans 8:28 is a sweet gift to those who suffer: 

And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

God wastes nothing. The cancer, the car wrecks - Jesus can use everything for the eternal good of those who love Him. Preach that truth to yourself. Your suffering is not meaningless. 

2 Corinthians 4:16–18 “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

John Piper says it this way,

I will venture this: every millisecond of your pain from the fallen nature or fallen man, every millisecond of your misery, in the path of obedience, is producing a peculiar glory you will get because of that.

What has Helped Me

I need to be reminded of 2 things every day:

1. That I am fully accepted and loved by Jesus, the one who knows me best. 
2. That Jesus is in complete control of my life.

Remembering that I am fully accepted and loved by Jesus disarms those around me from controlling my mood. What they think, ultimately, does not matter. This is a common anxiety reduction technique, but instead of having to love and accept myself (which I will fail at), Jesus will remind me who I am. I meditate on passages like 2 Timothy 1:7-10,

for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Therefore, do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel,

Remembering that Jesus is in complete control of my life disarms my fears of the future or my own performance. Forgetting that truth is what I believed caused my terrible anxiety in 2018. I had to face my lack of control. I needed to be stopped in my tracks and face reality. I was carrying around more than I thought. I was out of the Word and completely dependent on my own strength. 

Meditate on Matthew 6:25-34:

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

When our minds are like hamsters spinning in a wheel, we must shift them to the things of God. 

For every look at yourself, take 10 looks at Christ - Robert Murray M'Cheyne

This is an exercise that the Spirit strengthens over time. I ask the Spirit to make my mind radically God centered every day. As John Piper has said, no one walks away from the Grand Canyon with a bigger view of himself. No one gets too deep into their own mind if they are centered on the glory of God. This will not happen overnight. Sanctification is a process. I can promise this though. If you are open with God and others, things will get better. Find a good doctor who will respect your Christian views. Please talk with a Christian counselor. Share your struggles with your pastor. God has placed him in your life for a reason. Above all remember; 

“My grace is sufficient for you,” Jesus says, “for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

You and I will not suffer forever. One day, Jesus will tear open the heavens to return for His church. In those moments, we will become like Him. You and I will have incorruptible bodies, fully complete in the joyful presence of our Savior. I long for that day, and I pray you will be there as well. 

Practical Tips

1. If you struggle with clinical anxiety, I highly encourage you to read Finding Quiet by Dr. J. P. Moreland. It blessed me greatly in my personal struggle with anxiety.
2. I enjoy Andrew Huberman’s podcast, Huberman Lab. In this free video, Dr. Huberman walks listeners through an NDSR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest) protocol. From the description : In this 10-minute meditation, Stanford neuroscientist @Andrew Huberman of #HubermanLab guides you through a Non-Sleep Deep Rest protocol (NSDR) to enhance the learning process by reducing day-time fatigue and improving focus. It can also greatly enhance your sleep, boost your mood, and promote #Neuroplasticity – the ability of your brain to change and grow. If you're looking for ways to boost your brainpower and improve your sleep, give this simple meditation a try! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKGrmY8OSHM
3. The 5-4-3-2-1 coping technique for anxiety is a great tool. You can find many free resources about it online. 
4. Positive talk during an anxiety attack, “what if everything turns out fine?” is also a great tool. 
5. Don’t suffer alone. Share your struggles with your brothers and sisters in your local church. 

Grace and peace to you my brother and sisters, 

Lucas Shipman

Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved